Why us Rednecks love our beer

I tale yu wut… us rednecks love our beer.  I be out workin in the hot sun with me best bud Didley and we be sweatin like two fat pigs. After hours have gone by, I look at Didley and say “it’s time for a cold one” and he just looks at me and smiles. It’s about 3 in the afternoon and the whole time we had been workin, we had been thinkin about the beer in the cooler. So we finish up workin and we make our way to our chairs that are there on the porch with the cooler in between them. So me myself, i’m more of a coors light type of guy. I love lookin at how blue those mountains get on the cans before I crack it open. Now my buddy Didley, he’s more of a keystone light type of guy. Why he is I will never know but that’s what he likes. So we had a 24 pack of each plus a couple of Pabst left over when Tiberius was over a couple of days ago. So me and Didley, we had been drinking for a couple of hours and I tale yu wut…. We were drunker then two white girls drinkin martinis. Now when I get drunk early in the day, my wife Teresa gets pissed at me so she comes outside and starts yellin at me. Man I had no idea what she was sayin, I was so drunk that I swear to you I was seeing 3 Teresa’s. I look over at Didley  and he just has this blank stare on his face lookin at my wife and it was so funny I damn near peed myself. Me and Didley kept going hard as the sun goes down and that’s when his old lady Delilah shows up. She was so mad at him yellin at him sayin “I thought I told yu to stop drinkin, your liver is goin to go out.” All he does is look at me, smile and say “we on for tomorrow?” I look at him say “it’s on brotha.” Now that didley is gone and the beer is about gone. I pick myself up and I go inside and my old lady is already passed out asleep. I go to reheat my food and my wife hears me in the kitchen. She comes in and starts yellin at me again but i’m so drunk that I start yellin at my food because I thought that my steak was yellin at me instead of my wife. My wife just looks at me with this confused look on her face and says “i’ll see you in the morning”  and walks off mad. I go onto to finish my steak and potatoes and I take myself to my old reclining chair and I pass out.

The reason why us rednecks love our beer? It calls for good company and it makes it a lot easier to deal with our wives.

• Dudley out